Must.Not.Test

I am out of dollar store tests. No car today. AND I have vowed not to test until Saturday. AF is due Sunday- wait, no Monday. I think I could wait till then, but I don't think my friends can! I am still exausted, and now have round ligamnet pulls, and still feel like a total nutcase. TOTAL NUTCASE. If it tests negative, and AF visits, I am going to check myself into a mental house. Not because I will be driven insane by not being pregnant, but more because I have had all these symptoms!

Oh guess what! Cookies is 100% sleeping in her crib! Still in our room (which I like- cause I know she is safe), but out of our bed. She enjoys the freedom to flop around, and we enjoy having our bed back.

I went out to lunch the other day with a couple friends. We must have chosen the local highschool hangout, because like clockwork, the moment we sat down they all filed in. I must note that high schoolers are incapable of speaking quitely- you know how we teach our kids to use indoor voices? Ya- they forgot all about that. They also don't dress like kids anymore. Dresses and heels, stick thin and huge boobs. I swear I didn't look like that in highschool- none of my friends did either- and high school wasn't that long ago for me. Kinda made my stomach churn. WHat happened to jeans, t-shirts, and a comfy pair of flip-flops? People wonder why teenagers are so sexually active, and they wonder why teen girls are getting raped (as a victim- I am not excusing this in ANY shape or form- and this does not apply to all circumstances), Everything about these kids screams sex. I feel sorry for the boys to some affect.
I am terrified that my baby will become that. Maybe we will move to Pennsylvania and become Amish. Or maybe we can homeschool. In reality, there is no way I can protect her the way I want to. She will do things I won't know about- and that breaks my heart. I want her to make better choices than I did. I don't want her to EVER feel like a party is a way to make friends. It doesn't work that way. I also hope that she- and all my kids, can make the choice not to smoke like Bum and I did. We both also made the choice to stay away from drugs, and I pray that they will too. I guess the most we can do is live to be an example. Gosh thinking about the future is tough!