Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Moved
Oh how he loves us. We constantly fail- and still he loves us.
James 1:2-4
2 Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
1 year ago
That was boyfriend in my belly 1 year ago. I was reflecting this morning because Cookies has made it a habit of BEGGING us for a sister lately. Bubbles is nice, she says, but she wants a baby sister.
How fast a year flies. From that to this:
Certifiable trouble maker. Cute, naughty, and just plain awesome.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Just
I have this enormously long blog post in my head... But I have 5 outfits + 2 launches to sew before the 18th- so I guess it will have to wait. Busy is such a wonderful double edge sword.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
You can't get me clouds
It rained here for 2 days straight- the most perfect, beautiful rain you could imagine. It was heavenly and MUCH needed. The grass is green, the weather? PERFECT. It was 71* today. We played outside, took some pictures, and just enjoyed the time- no over heating, sweat, or sunburn.
Then I came inside. I opened my photoshop-- it doesn't work. Comes up with some box about my serial number being invalid. I have never had the issue in the past. Customer service? Sucks. All they had to say was "Sorry". Jerks.
Then I came inside. I opened my photoshop-- it doesn't work. Comes up with some box about my serial number being invalid. I have never had the issue in the past. Customer service? Sucks. All they had to say was "Sorry". Jerks.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Something Special
There is something special between a mother and son. I didn't understand it until I had my own- but the relationship is so special. It is beyond words can describe.
Our daughters own a special place in our hearts and connect with us in a different way. No less special- just different.
I have been blessed to have that relationship- and to be able to record it in others. My heart warms to see other people love on their kids- especially friends.
She and I went to school together from 2nd grade all the way through high school. Her baby boy is about to be 2 and they just love each other. We had a playdate recently, and I was lucky enough to capture this.
I hope Bubbles and I can be as close as these 2 are. I love how he thinks that she is the whole world- a super hero. In differnet ways then daddy.
Makes my heart melt a little.
Our daughters own a special place in our hearts and connect with us in a different way. No less special- just different.
I have been blessed to have that relationship- and to be able to record it in others. My heart warms to see other people love on their kids- especially friends.
She and I went to school together from 2nd grade all the way through high school. Her baby boy is about to be 2 and they just love each other. We had a playdate recently, and I was lucky enough to capture this.
I hope Bubbles and I can be as close as these 2 are. I love how he thinks that she is the whole world- a super hero. In differnet ways then daddy.
Makes my heart melt a little.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
Newborns are hard!
My dear friend from high school had a baby 2 weeks ago, and since has been begging me to take new baby's pictures. I warned her that they probably won't be good. She didn't care. She is a single first time mommy and I want to help her any way I can. I was right- they aren't very good- but I got to snuggle a new baby for a few hours, so I won't complain!
Kudos to you photographer types who do newborns. It is an art and a good test of your timing and patience. I have mucho respect for you and your craft.
Anyhow, meet new baby- who was named after none other than Cookies! What a special honor for a 2 year old.
Kudos to you photographer types who do newborns. It is an art and a good test of your timing and patience. I have mucho respect for you and your craft.
Anyhow, meet new baby- who was named after none other than Cookies! What a special honor for a 2 year old.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
He's a Moose
Bubbles had his 6 month well baby today.
20lbs, 9 oz- 85%
28 1/2" - 95%
He's doing what most 9 month olds do- babbling, nearly crawling (up on his hands and knees rocking like a mad man), he is able to pull up (God save us-- lol), and he can feed himself Cherrios. The chart also said most babies don't respond to their name till 9 months... Both my kids responded at 5ish months- and I know a lot of other kids that do- so I think that one is off.
He's a rockstar and a mama's boy to the core.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
First Haircut
We didn't want to... but the end's of Cookie's hair were starting to break- so it was time.
We went to a local kid's salon called Lollilocks. FABULOUS little place- a little expensive- but she got to sit on an elephant. That alone made it worth the trip. They do manicures, pedicures, hair and even birthdays- catered directly to kids.
There was a little boy getting his hair cut while we were there who was scared-- so you know what they did for him? The whole staff (aside from our lady) went over and blew bubbles for him! It was like a bubble wonderland!
She was a little apprehensive at first- but then she warmed up and thought getting her hair cut was about the coolest thing ever. It totally helps when daddy is holding your hand too.
They gave her new clippies, a bottle of shampoo, and gave us a certificate with clips of her hair and a picture. I think we'll be going back there again for sure.
6 months old
How did you get to 6 month already my little man? It feels like we were just in the hospital last week, getting ready to bring you into the world.
You are the most amazing little boy. You love to move- to see things, and you don't want to sit in one place too long. Your little brain just soaks everything in so quickly. I just know you are going to amaze us all with your wisdom.
You are already sitting up, can power roll across a room, and can scoot across a room even faster. On Sunday, you got across the bed in less than 5 seconds- and found yourself on the floor. Mommy cried with you- even though you weren't hurt you got scared, and I felt so bad that I wasn't there to catch you. Then later that day, you decided it was time to get up on your hands and knees and rock back and forth over and over again. Soon, you'll be on the move constantly. Time for mommy to baby proof again.
You love your sister to pieces- and she loves you right back. I know you two will fight, but I hope you maintain the close bond that you have now.
A few weeks ago you started babbling- and now you go constantly. You fill in the details of my day, and Cookies loves to translate for you. You both are the perfect puzzle pieces in my life.
I am certain the next 6 months are going to go even faster than the first. You will be one, and your sister will be 3 all in one breath.
Oh how I love you little one. There is something special between you and I- and I hope that we never lose it.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
New People
My sweet sweet 2 1/2 year old has has terrible ants in her pants over the last 2 weeks. The one other human being that we spent any time with is no longer in the area, so she has only had Gran and me to play with. She is sick of that. While I am fairly content to be at home and tinker away on projects, my social butterfly is not. She wants to get out to play. She really wants to play with 3 kiddos in particular, but one mommy works and the others are now residing in a beautiful state many many miles away.
So I did it- I joined a meetup.com group of Attachment Parenting Mommies. I figured they are more likely to get mine and my kiddos quirks- and heck, it's worth a shot right?
We went to the zoo with some of them today. All morning my poor little brain was trying to come up with a good excuse why not to go- for instance, I have a beautiful almost birthday boy's birthday gift that desperately needs to go to the PO- but I still haven't made it there. That was more important right? Of course it is/was, but Bum made the error of telling one Cookies that we might be going to the Z-O-O. It was all over after that and I had to go.
So we went, and I made a bit of a fool of myself as usual- but we had a fairly good time. It was blazing hot- so most of the mommies left right around lunch. Of course as soon as they left- it got overcast- so the one mommy left, other than myself, and I continued our adventure around the park. Our kiddos are only 3 weeks apart. Her 2 1/2 year old boy was born in December 05, and her 6 month old daughter was born in December of 07. Kinda neat to have 4 kiddos so close in age. Her babes were peanuts (and allergic to them for that matter)- Her oldest was a good 6 inches shorter than Cookies. It was funny to see the difference. They held hands and played "Ring around the Rosie", and they even tried to sit in the same stroller seat together. She makes friends so quickly. Everywhere she goes she makes a friend. It reminds me of one very precious little girl I know...
We got stalked by a peacock for over an hour. Cookies was scared shitless of the damn thing by the time it was all over. Poor kiddo- it tried to steal her ice cream!
The mom and I did okay too. For a first time meeting we got along well. I think it helps a lot to have the same parenting views. Oddly though- I think I like my kids more than most people like their kids. It makes me sad to hear a mom say she wishes she could go back to work. Not that there is anything wrong with that- it is just I would give anything- and do anything to maintain the ability to stay home with my little monkeys.
Speaking of little monkeys- Bum asked me last night if I was read for another baby. I told him maybe in a year I would be- but that I am still enjoying Bubbles being a baby. He said it has been on his mind a lot lately. I am glad he is willing to discuss it and isn't just announcing things. Not that you can announce that kind of thing to a woman- but you know what I am saying.
I have been struggling the last few days with a frog in my throat. I think the reality of my friend's move is finally hitting me- especially with Cookies CONSTANTLY demanding to go play with her. I have been praying things settle down and start moving into place so we can start at least texting regularly again.
Tomorrow we test out another meet up group. The "No Drama Mamas" with a name like that I couldn't resist. It is so similar to the name of the place where my friends on the puter are. Hopefully I will have similar friendship luck. Or the opposite. Let's hope for the previous. We are going to the local children's museum for a 5 and under day. The kids get to design their own ice cream flavor! I think that is just awesome.
It is good for us to get out of the house- even if it puts me behind on my crafting schedule- it is worth it for tired and happy kids.
So I did it- I joined a meetup.com group of Attachment Parenting Mommies. I figured they are more likely to get mine and my kiddos quirks- and heck, it's worth a shot right?
We went to the zoo with some of them today. All morning my poor little brain was trying to come up with a good excuse why not to go- for instance, I have a beautiful almost birthday boy's birthday gift that desperately needs to go to the PO- but I still haven't made it there. That was more important right? Of course it is/was, but Bum made the error of telling one Cookies that we might be going to the Z-O-O. It was all over after that and I had to go.
So we went, and I made a bit of a fool of myself as usual- but we had a fairly good time. It was blazing hot- so most of the mommies left right around lunch. Of course as soon as they left- it got overcast- so the one mommy left, other than myself, and I continued our adventure around the park. Our kiddos are only 3 weeks apart. Her 2 1/2 year old boy was born in December 05, and her 6 month old daughter was born in December of 07. Kinda neat to have 4 kiddos so close in age. Her babes were peanuts (and allergic to them for that matter)- Her oldest was a good 6 inches shorter than Cookies. It was funny to see the difference. They held hands and played "Ring around the Rosie", and they even tried to sit in the same stroller seat together. She makes friends so quickly. Everywhere she goes she makes a friend. It reminds me of one very precious little girl I know...
We got stalked by a peacock for over an hour. Cookies was scared shitless of the damn thing by the time it was all over. Poor kiddo- it tried to steal her ice cream!
The mom and I did okay too. For a first time meeting we got along well. I think it helps a lot to have the same parenting views. Oddly though- I think I like my kids more than most people like their kids. It makes me sad to hear a mom say she wishes she could go back to work. Not that there is anything wrong with that- it is just I would give anything- and do anything to maintain the ability to stay home with my little monkeys.
Speaking of little monkeys- Bum asked me last night if I was read for another baby. I told him maybe in a year I would be- but that I am still enjoying Bubbles being a baby. He said it has been on his mind a lot lately. I am glad he is willing to discuss it and isn't just announcing things. Not that you can announce that kind of thing to a woman- but you know what I am saying.
I have been struggling the last few days with a frog in my throat. I think the reality of my friend's move is finally hitting me- especially with Cookies CONSTANTLY demanding to go play with her. I have been praying things settle down and start moving into place so we can start at least texting regularly again.
Tomorrow we test out another meet up group. The "No Drama Mamas" with a name like that I couldn't resist. It is so similar to the name of the place where my friends on the puter are. Hopefully I will have similar friendship luck. Or the opposite. Let's hope for the previous. We are going to the local children's museum for a 5 and under day. The kids get to design their own ice cream flavor! I think that is just awesome.
It is good for us to get out of the house- even if it puts me behind on my crafting schedule- it is worth it for tired and happy kids.
Friday, June 20, 2008
I've decided
I want to be a fabric designer. Cause I see fabric ideas in EVERYTHING- and I love it and I want to go on Martha Stuart's show and show her all the fabulous things you can do with my fabric- and I want people to make beautiful things and feel inspired by it.
I have absolutely ZERO idea how you go about doing that- but yeah- it is what I want to do. And if I did- I want to be even half as fabulous as, say, Anna Maria Horner, or Heather Bailey, or Sandi Henderson... Oh how I love Sandi Henderson...
I am going to do some research today on it- but oh my gosh I am fired up about this.
--------------------------
Friend? We miss you lots! But I am glad you are safe where you need to be and we will talk to you soon!
I have absolutely ZERO idea how you go about doing that- but yeah- it is what I want to do. And if I did- I want to be even half as fabulous as, say, Anna Maria Horner, or Heather Bailey, or Sandi Henderson... Oh how I love Sandi Henderson...
I am going to do some research today on it- but oh my gosh I am fired up about this.
--------------------------
Friend? We miss you lots! But I am glad you are safe where you need to be and we will talk to you soon!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I should get paid
Don't you wish stay at home moms got paid? Even a little? I sure do. I bust my hump- but I feel guilty for buying groceries with the money Bum brings home. If I brought in more than the occasional dress sale I am sure I would have a little less guilt about it. He doesn't guilt me... I do. Blargh.
________
I had to explain to Cookies last night that we couldn't go play with Girl today. The reality of it all made me cry. So we looked through pictures a bit- and as soon as we get their address we are sending pictures we drew for the kiddos and her.
_________
I discovered a new little gadget today that I was not aware existed. It may be the end of me- but I think it is about the coolest thing ever invented. I have discovered dozens of web sites that I had only dreamed of. It is called StumbledUpon. You enter in your preferences, and hit Stumble- and they take you to random sites! I love it. I think I spent the kids entire nap time wasting my time clicking away on it. So much for a clean house for the MIL who arrives tonight. Oh well- Suzy clean house, Meet Suzy not-so-clean-house, who plays with her kids and crafts a lot. Suzy Clean house- I want you to know that your son wishes you had been Suzy not-so-clean-house and had played with the kids more. I just hope she doesn't try to clean it for me.
_________
Anddd, A cute picture, just because!
________
I had to explain to Cookies last night that we couldn't go play with Girl today. The reality of it all made me cry. So we looked through pictures a bit- and as soon as we get their address we are sending pictures we drew for the kiddos and her.
_________
I discovered a new little gadget today that I was not aware existed. It may be the end of me- but I think it is about the coolest thing ever invented. I have discovered dozens of web sites that I had only dreamed of. It is called StumbledUpon. You enter in your preferences, and hit Stumble- and they take you to random sites! I love it. I think I spent the kids entire nap time wasting my time clicking away on it. So much for a clean house for the MIL who arrives tonight. Oh well- Suzy clean house, Meet Suzy not-so-clean-house, who plays with her kids and crafts a lot. Suzy Clean house- I want you to know that your son wishes you had been Suzy not-so-clean-house and had played with the kids more. I just hope she doesn't try to clean it for me.
_________
Anddd, A cute picture, just because!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
I wanna play!
I think give aways are fun. I never win- but they are fun to play! SOOOOO, I'm joining in on the give away fun!
One lucky winner will get a free set of bows OR a set of washies! It isn't anything huge- but heck- it's a start right? I mean- like 5 people read here, so chances are high that you could win!
So just leave me a comment on what you would rather have- bows or washies. If you want to be entered twice, just link me on your blog and leave me a comment to let me know you did.
I'll use Random.org on Monday, June 16th to select a winner.
EEE! I love me some give aways! Good luck!
Friday, June 6, 2008
Dude I suck
I got tagged gorever ago and I keep forgetting to play!
Tara tagged me!
What was I doing 10 yrs ago?
Ten years ago today I was taking my dad on a "date" for his birthday. He drove- but I paid. It was a lot of fun and something I have missed a lot since being married.
5 snacks I enjoy?
1. Fruit Snacks. Preferably Nemo. They taste good as long as I don't look at their cute little faces.
2. Puppy Chow. Yum.
3. Rice Krispy Treats (homemade)
4. M&Ms
5. Granola Bars... Especially the ones that have Chocolate in them
5 things on today’s to-do list?
1. Make "Strawberry Social" Dress
2. Clean the Barbecue
3. Do 12,000,000 loads of laundry
4. Hang Dry and/or press 6,000,000 loads
5. Take a shower
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire?
1. Pay off my parent's and all of our friend's debts.
2. Buy everyone houses with big back yards.
3. Invest most of it and live off the interest
4. Hire a maid
5. Donate a lot a lot a lot. Travel to who we are donating to to make sure they get 100% of it.
5 jobs I have had?
1. Dog Groomer, Handler, Breeder
2. Target retail geek
3. Nature Educator (i.e. Hiking guide... oye I miss that)
4. Advertising Manager for Colorado Business Journal (HATED)
5. Mommy
5 bad habits?
1. procrastinating
2. too much computer
3. not taking enough time for me (i.e. like taking the time to pee)
4. doodling on everything
5. saving everything
5 places I have lived?
(I'm boring- but here we go)
1. Phoenix, AZ
2. Colorado Springs, CO
3. Masonville, CO
4. Ft. Collins, CO
5. Denver, CO
5 random things about me?
1. I don’t have a huge circle of friends, but I am very loyal and close to the friends that I have
2. I'm overly private and only give details when they've overwhelmed me- so I tend to come across like a cry baby, whiner or bitch.
3. 2 of my siblings are adopted. One looks more like she is my sister than my actual sister, the other looks nothing like us.
4. I want nothing more than for people to be happy with me. It tends to drive people away.
5. I cry if I don't know what is going on. I don't know why- but communication is essential for me.
Yup- I'm crazy.
Tara tagged me!
What was I doing 10 yrs ago?
Ten years ago today I was taking my dad on a "date" for his birthday. He drove- but I paid. It was a lot of fun and something I have missed a lot since being married.
5 snacks I enjoy?
1. Fruit Snacks. Preferably Nemo. They taste good as long as I don't look at their cute little faces.
2. Puppy Chow. Yum.
3. Rice Krispy Treats (homemade)
4. M&Ms
5. Granola Bars... Especially the ones that have Chocolate in them
5 things on today’s to-do list?
1. Make "Strawberry Social" Dress
2. Clean the Barbecue
3. Do 12,000,000 loads of laundry
4. Hang Dry and/or press 6,000,000 loads
5. Take a shower
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire?
1. Pay off my parent's and all of our friend's debts.
2. Buy everyone houses with big back yards.
3. Invest most of it and live off the interest
4. Hire a maid
5. Donate a lot a lot a lot. Travel to who we are donating to to make sure they get 100% of it.
5 jobs I have had?
1. Dog Groomer, Handler, Breeder
2. Target retail geek
3. Nature Educator (i.e. Hiking guide... oye I miss that)
4. Advertising Manager for Colorado Business Journal (HATED)
5. Mommy
5 bad habits?
1. procrastinating
2. too much computer
3. not taking enough time for me (i.e. like taking the time to pee)
4. doodling on everything
5. saving everything
5 places I have lived?
(I'm boring- but here we go)
1. Phoenix, AZ
2. Colorado Springs, CO
3. Masonville, CO
4. Ft. Collins, CO
5. Denver, CO
5 random things about me?
1. I don’t have a huge circle of friends, but I am very loyal and close to the friends that I have
2. I'm overly private and only give details when they've overwhelmed me- so I tend to come across like a cry baby, whiner or bitch.
3. 2 of my siblings are adopted. One looks more like she is my sister than my actual sister, the other looks nothing like us.
4. I want nothing more than for people to be happy with me. It tends to drive people away.
5. I cry if I don't know what is going on. I don't know why- but communication is essential for me.
Yup- I'm crazy.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Stewie on Breast Milk
I don't think I have laughed so hard in a long time. Poor Stewie. That's gonna be Bubbles- I see it coming.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Ani Banani the wonder golden
That picture cracks me up. Check the slobber.
Best dog in the world. Lets Cookies torture her with dress up, being treated like a horse, and being sat on (Course I think she tolerates half the time because of the food that slips under the table at dinner time). She just stares up at us like "I'm doing okay- aren't I mom?"
We won't ever have another dog like her. One that tolerates everything the kids do- without as much as a grumble.
The Blahs
I find myself coming to the computer and giving it a blank stare lately. Nothing to type and not much more than wimpy smiles on my moms board. They must think I suck.
I feel like I've been a terrible friend- I KNOW I've been a terrible blogger. Not that many read it- and it really serves no purpose, but whatever.
BLAH.
I feel like I've been a terrible friend- I KNOW I've been a terrible blogger. Not that many read it- and it really serves no purpose, but whatever.
BLAH.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Learning to let go
This weekend marked a LOT of firsts for my kidlets.
Bubbles tasted some oh so sinful ice cream (More the residue of it than the ice cream itself), had his first hike, went to his first baseball game, his first amusement park and his first time meeting his uncle.
Cookies had several firsts too. Her first hot dog AT a baseball game (there is something special about that),went on her first REAL hike, went to her first amusement park... wore shorts for the first time that day (What can I say? The girl loves dresses. We had to have a LONG talk about how a dress wouldn't be safe), and for the first time in her life... She rode rides alone. She went with her bestest friends on the rides- but without Mommy. Talk about a lesson for me in letting go. None of them were over the top- in fact, even if she had wanted me to go, my hind end wouldn't have fit in them anyhow. Gotta love toddler rides. She grew up just a little bit more that day, which made it just a bit harder for me not to cry while we walked around the park with our wonderful friends.
I had a few firsts myself at that park. As I said above, I let Cookies play without me. I stood up to a punk kid who frankly scared the ever living crap out of me- but it was for a friend. If I weren't afraid of him killing me, I would have done more. Stupid little thief. I hope something of his gets stolen in front of his face.
But the biggest step for me? Saying something I really didn't want to say. You see, this dear friend of mine is getting ready to bravely move across the country to be closer to her family. I don't blame her- because I would do the same. I am blessed with a similar relationship to my mom as she has to hers- and I can't imagine living as far away from her as she does from her mom. It is a big and scary move. A move that at the moment, has a lot of blanks to be filled in. But I know she will do it- and like everything she does, she will do it well and with grace.
So when the tears started as we thought about not seeing each other's kiddos for a long time- all I wanted to say was "Please PLEASE don't go. You're my only friend here. You're the only one who I feel like I can be me with, that I trust with my kids- and love that they call you Auntie. I don't want you to go"... But those are selfish reasons. So instead, I told her the truth. If we are the only reason to stay, it isn't a good enough reason. Her mom and siblings are more important that we will ever be. Feeling loved, having help, a home, a church... Those things are more important than being at birthday parties. We will find ways to visit- even if it is only once a year- because to me, she's family. The sister from another mother. It was a lesson in letting go a bit for me that day. She needs to be where she will be happy.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Yep- that's my mom
My mom? Coolest daredevil I know. That's her. Riding the Hydrofoil. She's the number one Amateur female in the country this year. Not bad for a grandma- eh?
Clumped
Don't you just love when you are clumped? When you had nothing to do with a situation- in fact, you made a conscious effort to stay out of it, and yet you get clumped into the side that was involved, because the person knows you are closer to one than the other? It is sad that is happens. And the person who ends up hurt in the end? The one who had nothing to do with it in the first place.
My sister who has gone MIA has stopped talking to me. She stopped talking to me as soon as she ran away from home, right after Christmas. She hasn't even recognized Bubbles is in existence. She didn't call on Cookie's birthday- and after Cookies broke her wrist- nothing. I would be fine if she just ignored me- but she has tossed my kids too. And why? Because my mom and I are the close ones, and the rift is between them. It isn't an issue between she and I- although it has become one because of the choices she made. I never said I didn't love her, or even that I was mad at her. But she's pissed because I didn't pursue her. Excuse me? You're the one who took off. Not me. I refuse to play those games. And now she is about to graduate high school. I wanted to be there- but I won't. She sent us an invitation- but it was just that. Breaks my heart. I love her very much. She's my baby sister, and for a long time the one I thought I would be closest to when we all became adults. My heart is wounded- but still open to her. I sent her a letter to let her know that, so now the ball is in her court. She knows where she can reach me.
-------------------------------
On another Note:
Today is Bum and My 3rd Anniversary. Our wedding day was wonderful. I was probably the most relaxed Bride you will ever meet. I watched Veggie Tales while everyone got ready- and even when my flowers came and were completely screwed up, I wasn't going to let it ruin my day. Bum and I would be the only ones who would notice (that is until people saw the FERN that was supposed to be our cake... Damn florist... Note to those yet to be married... Hire a Pro).
Bum and I giggled and whispered through the whole ceremony- it was a blast.
No one really danced at our reception- but we had a jumping castle, a trampoline and a tire swing. I never got to taste the food we spent months planning, but we had fun. And when the day was done, we trotted off to the hotel and our wedding night, where we both promptly fell asleep. So much for consummating our marriage!
Today, I bought him his own Bible. We have been sharing a while, and I would like to do a study with him without having to share. He bought me a pattern drafting set of tools. I am so excited to learn how to try them. And tonight? We will go to dinner with the kiddos, come home- and most likely? Promptly fall asleep.
My sister who has gone MIA has stopped talking to me. She stopped talking to me as soon as she ran away from home, right after Christmas. She hasn't even recognized Bubbles is in existence. She didn't call on Cookie's birthday- and after Cookies broke her wrist- nothing. I would be fine if she just ignored me- but she has tossed my kids too. And why? Because my mom and I are the close ones, and the rift is between them. It isn't an issue between she and I- although it has become one because of the choices she made. I never said I didn't love her, or even that I was mad at her. But she's pissed because I didn't pursue her. Excuse me? You're the one who took off. Not me. I refuse to play those games. And now she is about to graduate high school. I wanted to be there- but I won't. She sent us an invitation- but it was just that. Breaks my heart. I love her very much. She's my baby sister, and for a long time the one I thought I would be closest to when we all became adults. My heart is wounded- but still open to her. I sent her a letter to let her know that, so now the ball is in her court. She knows where she can reach me.
-------------------------------
On another Note:
Today is Bum and My 3rd Anniversary. Our wedding day was wonderful. I was probably the most relaxed Bride you will ever meet. I watched Veggie Tales while everyone got ready- and even when my flowers came and were completely screwed up, I wasn't going to let it ruin my day. Bum and I would be the only ones who would notice (that is until people saw the FERN that was supposed to be our cake... Damn florist... Note to those yet to be married... Hire a Pro).
Bum and I giggled and whispered through the whole ceremony- it was a blast.
No one really danced at our reception- but we had a jumping castle, a trampoline and a tire swing. I never got to taste the food we spent months planning, but we had fun. And when the day was done, we trotted off to the hotel and our wedding night, where we both promptly fell asleep. So much for consummating our marriage!
Today, I bought him his own Bible. We have been sharing a while, and I would like to do a study with him without having to share. He bought me a pattern drafting set of tools. I am so excited to learn how to try them. And tonight? We will go to dinner with the kiddos, come home- and most likely? Promptly fall asleep.
Monday, May 5, 2008
It's important for Mommy
Since I spend so much time behind the lens, I tend to forget how important it is for my kids to have pictures of them with their mommy. Next Sunday is Mother's day- and the best gift I could give myself was to surrender my beloved camera to Bum for a few minutes. I don't like the way I look- but it is me, with my babies. He doesn't understand Manual- but is too stubborn to let me put it in an auto mode for him, so I had to doctor these quite a bit.
We even attempted a family shot- with just a timer and without a tripod... Not so hot, but with the simple addition of a remote and tripod it could improve.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Shameless Plugs
Love this Etsy Ad. It needs to be on TV. Shop Etsy people- you are helping people out- and you get something handmade!
If you like cloth dipes- or anything fantastic for that matter, go
Here Great quality, and an overall great person. SHe deserves the business!
I got the most fabulous make up from Avon. Smooth Mineral Makeup- It covers beautifully, and is a cinch to apply. No funky foundation lines- and it feels weightless! I'm sold on it forever.
If you want to check it out- or even get some- go to Tara's Avon Site
THose are my plugs for today.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
She's only 2
And yet she's CRAZY about soccer. She even has her own soccer ball. She can even dribble the ball- at 2. She doesn't totally get the whole idea that this isn't a game that you carry the ball AND kick the ball- but again, she's 2.
I personally am not nuts about the game- but I attend Bum's games, more for Cookies than anything else. She always brings her glittery pink ball- it's just her size- and kicks it along the sidelines doing her best to mimic the adults on the field. She even makes the occasional run to an empty net to kick in a goal. Little did I know when I called her a soccer start in my womb what would happen as she got older.
I know as her parent I am naturally going to be proud- but I have only met one other kiddo who could kick the ball like she does. He just turned four and is the coolest little boy in the world. I am excited for her to get to play soccer next spring.
She didn't get her athletic ability from me- that is for sure. We will blame her Daddy on that one. She got her love of music and art from me. Daredevil side? Daddy. Building structures with her food? ME.
She got her cast off yesterday. They removed the cast and handed me a warm towel to wipe off her arm. I have to tell you- I have never seen so many goosebumps on one person in my life. Like it was the best feeling in the world for her. For any of you who have ever had a cast- you can relate. Then she got mad because the "Docor taked my casssst!" She wanted a new color darn it! Then they gave her animal crackers and she told me rather ecstatically "Wook Mommy! I howd my cwackers!". She hugged everyone she encountered at the orthopedics office. Nurses, Doctors, and all the kiddos in wheelchairs that were there. What a beautiful person she is. I hope that we can maintain that love of people for her. THe doctor looked at me and said "I hate to say this to you- but I hope we see her again soon". That is special.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
What a month
I admit, I'm a bad blogger. It's been quite a month though! Bubbles is 3 months- and has learned how to belly laugh... Best sound in the world.
Cookies broke her wrist- cast comes of in a little over a week.
I get to have surgery soon- my wisdom teeth. One has broken through and the other is impacting a molar. Explains the headaches!
I've been sewing a lot- and my etsy shop is up and running. Now I need to find time to catch up on a bit of scrapbooking.
I love spring and the burst of energy it brings for me.
Cookies broke her wrist- cast comes of in a little over a week.
I get to have surgery soon- my wisdom teeth. One has broken through and the other is impacting a molar. Explains the headaches!
I've been sewing a lot- and my etsy shop is up and running. Now I need to find time to catch up on a bit of scrapbooking.
I love spring and the burst of energy it brings for me.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Easter
We had a nice Easter. I'm big on the tradition of waking up, letting the kids find their baskets, eating a nice breakfast then trotting off to church, followed by a grand egg hunt when we get home.
This is the first year that Cookies really "got" the whole egg hunt idea- and had us hide the eggs again and again. I tell you- having kids brings an excitement back to holidays that had fades away as you get older. I got giddy about baskets and hiding eggs. Even dying eggs was more fun this year. It is nice to feel that way again. And it didn't even take getting a basket from Bum. In fact- this is the first year we didn't do baskets for each other.
We went to my parent's church- our old church for Easter service. It made me a little sad, because it was then I realized that it was no longer our home church. I didn't get that same sense of joy being there. That was hard. But the service was good. Pastor Dary asked a couple of questions that really got me thinking. First he asked, "What are you willing to die for?"-- easy. My kids and husband. But then he asked, "What are you willing to LIVE for?" Well gosh. My kids and husband of course- but what beyond that? What am I going to put my passion into beyond raising my children? I feel like so much of that passion is gone- and I don't know where it went. I have been tempted to brush up on my flute skills again and give lessons. Or get involved with worship at church again. Maybe take some classes on photography or cake decorating. Something so that I can offer myself to others. I think it is easy to get depressed when you feel useless. Or at least not valued. I know our home would not function if I weren't around. I know I can create things- and I am slowly becoming a better photographer- but the things I make aren't used by other people. And I am not planning on a photography business. So here I sit- questioning how I can offer myself beyond raising wonderful kiddos. May take some time to figure it out.
Shameless cute baby pictures...
This is the first year that Cookies really "got" the whole egg hunt idea- and had us hide the eggs again and again. I tell you- having kids brings an excitement back to holidays that had fades away as you get older. I got giddy about baskets and hiding eggs. Even dying eggs was more fun this year. It is nice to feel that way again. And it didn't even take getting a basket from Bum. In fact- this is the first year we didn't do baskets for each other.
We went to my parent's church- our old church for Easter service. It made me a little sad, because it was then I realized that it was no longer our home church. I didn't get that same sense of joy being there. That was hard. But the service was good. Pastor Dary asked a couple of questions that really got me thinking. First he asked, "What are you willing to die for?"-- easy. My kids and husband. But then he asked, "What are you willing to LIVE for?" Well gosh. My kids and husband of course- but what beyond that? What am I going to put my passion into beyond raising my children? I feel like so much of that passion is gone- and I don't know where it went. I have been tempted to brush up on my flute skills again and give lessons. Or get involved with worship at church again. Maybe take some classes on photography or cake decorating. Something so that I can offer myself to others. I think it is easy to get depressed when you feel useless. Or at least not valued. I know our home would not function if I weren't around. I know I can create things- and I am slowly becoming a better photographer- but the things I make aren't used by other people. And I am not planning on a photography business. So here I sit- questioning how I can offer myself beyond raising wonderful kiddos. May take some time to figure it out.
Shameless cute baby pictures...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Bleck
We are all sick. Damn it. My one weekend without Gran here, and we all get sick. Cookies started with the upset tummy, then I got it and kicked it up a notch by throwing up all night, then Bum got a cough and 104* temp, followed by Hailey with the cough and fever, now I have the cough, but no fever. Bubbles has a bit of a cough, but seems fine otherwise. Thank God for Breastmilk.
Makes me feel like "what next?", which happened with some very unexpected news. It does explain the feeling I have been having about these sorts of things... I'm not allowed to divulge yet- but believe me, there will be plenty on the subject soon.
I just want us all to get better. Regardless of how sick I may be- I'm the momma and therefore not really allowed to be sick. I may have been the sickest of the bunch to start, but now I have to nurse them, no matter how ill I may feel.
Makes me feel like "what next?", which happened with some very unexpected news. It does explain the feeling I have been having about these sorts of things... I'm not allowed to divulge yet- but believe me, there will be plenty on the subject soon.
I just want us all to get better. Regardless of how sick I may be- I'm the momma and therefore not really allowed to be sick. I may have been the sickest of the bunch to start, but now I have to nurse them, no matter how ill I may feel.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Something clicked
And beyond tolerating him, she loves him. He loves her. I hope they can maintain that.
Trusting
I'm reading a book called "Captivating"-- I love it. It talks a lot about the wounds that we receive as little girls, and the process of healing from them. It also talks a lot about your relationship with God; something I have struggled a lot with lately.
For me, it's not an issue of faith or believing, but trusting. It is hard to hear "Have patience, it will work out, just trust Me", when praying for things to get better. Maybe I am childish. I want some kind of reassurance that it isn't going to be 20 years of waiting.
Maybe I am not making a large enough effort to be closer to Him. Maybe I am just plain scared to entrust my everything to him. I try to- but I feel like some part of me is grasping at straws for complete control of my life. I should know better. Things go to hades in a hand basket when I try to do it myself. Things fall apart. I can't do it myself- I know that.
Bum and I have been discussing moving. I don't want to move. My parents are here- and we are really close. They are our friends. We spend entire weekends at their house because we enjoy their company. I can't imagine living away from them- from my mom. She and I talk daily and try to see each other every week. The thought of being away from her makes my stomach do somersaults. I don't have many friends- but the ones I have I love dearly, and moving to a place and having to start over-- for me is terrifying. I'm not so good at the social game. I say stupid things and do stupid things. I am simple- not fancy. I don't do the super dressed up mom thing. But what if moving away is the only way we will ever have it better? You can't live off of 40k a year with a family and 50k in school, medical, and auto debt. You just can't.
I know that my friends and family will be there regardless of where we live. I have friends that are more miles away than I can imagine, and we make it work. I know we would find a way to see my family as often as possible... But I'm scared.
So I'm trying to trust. Trust that there is a plan for us- he's never not taken care of us. I'm trying to trust His will. I don't really want to- but I'm trying. I have to figure out a way to prepare my heart to leave if we are called to. I don't know what it will take, but again, I am trying to trust that He is working on me. I'm not the most willing person in the world, but I am trying.
For me, it's not an issue of faith or believing, but trusting. It is hard to hear "Have patience, it will work out, just trust Me", when praying for things to get better. Maybe I am childish. I want some kind of reassurance that it isn't going to be 20 years of waiting.
Maybe I am not making a large enough effort to be closer to Him. Maybe I am just plain scared to entrust my everything to him. I try to- but I feel like some part of me is grasping at straws for complete control of my life. I should know better. Things go to hades in a hand basket when I try to do it myself. Things fall apart. I can't do it myself- I know that.
Bum and I have been discussing moving. I don't want to move. My parents are here- and we are really close. They are our friends. We spend entire weekends at their house because we enjoy their company. I can't imagine living away from them- from my mom. She and I talk daily and try to see each other every week. The thought of being away from her makes my stomach do somersaults. I don't have many friends- but the ones I have I love dearly, and moving to a place and having to start over-- for me is terrifying. I'm not so good at the social game. I say stupid things and do stupid things. I am simple- not fancy. I don't do the super dressed up mom thing. But what if moving away is the only way we will ever have it better? You can't live off of 40k a year with a family and 50k in school, medical, and auto debt. You just can't.
I know that my friends and family will be there regardless of where we live. I have friends that are more miles away than I can imagine, and we make it work. I know we would find a way to see my family as often as possible... But I'm scared.
So I'm trying to trust. Trust that there is a plan for us- he's never not taken care of us. I'm trying to trust His will. I don't really want to- but I'm trying. I have to figure out a way to prepare my heart to leave if we are called to. I don't know what it will take, but again, I am trying to trust that He is working on me. I'm not the most willing person in the world, but I am trying.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Make up and prettiness
I'm not one of those people who wears a lot of makeup- and what I do wear I don't wear often- but I am totally sold on Avon products.
My buddy Tara is trying to get her business rolling- and she is an AWESOME representative. Check out Avon. I stand by their product- big time.
http://www.yourAVON.com/tdargan
My buddy Tara is trying to get her business rolling- and she is an AWESOME representative. Check out Avon. I stand by their product- big time.
http://www.yourAVON.com/tdargan
Saturday, February 23, 2008
My poor Bum
No, I'm not talking my tush.
Bum is depressed. He feels like he has nothing here. He doesn't have friends- none. Seems like anyone he tries to befriend either thinks he is a nerd or they screw him over. More than people screw me over- it is bad. So he has me, Cookies, and Bubbles. While that is all well and good- he needs someone aside from me.
His co-workers and bosses treat him like shit. He busts his ass- and they see none of it. But they gave him money for school- so he is stuck there for 3 more years unless we want to pay it back. He doesn't get paid enough. Not even close. He is so smart, and works so hard. His customers ADORE him- but his bosses shit on him.
He is doing his masters. Something he always wanted to do, but didn't get to since we had Cookies. Now we worry that we will have paid tens of thousands of dollars for something that will never pay itself back. The school work takes him away from us 6 out of the 7 days of the week. Let me tell you how much I love that. Not only because he is my best friend, and I very much enjoy his company, but because I don't particularly enjoy being a single parent.
The guy is juggling working out (the only thing he has for himself), work, school, and a family. On top of that he is lonely. His family is all far away- and as much as they drive us crazy, I can't imagine having to live far away from my parents- it has to be hard on him. To have no friends and family gone, to have to juggle so much, by choice or not, takes a toll.
I am at loss. I wish I could hand deliver friends, that we could afford to visit his family more than once a year, and that he made what he deserves. God wants us here now- he made it plainly obvious by pigeon holing us in this house. I just don't know why he needs to have this season in his life. Is it a God thing? I wonder sometimes. The people in a small group we tried out dropped us like we were nothing, and really no one talks to us at church, despite our efforts. I don't think we smell funny... and we are nice people. If you are our friend, we take care of you. Bum is a good friend to the people that choose to be around him. He needs someone to be that back to him. I don't know what I can do to help. It hurts me to have him hurt- and even more to know there is NOTHING I can do about it. I guess all I can do is be here for him and ggive it up to God- but man is it hard sometimes.
Bum is depressed. He feels like he has nothing here. He doesn't have friends- none. Seems like anyone he tries to befriend either thinks he is a nerd or they screw him over. More than people screw me over- it is bad. So he has me, Cookies, and Bubbles. While that is all well and good- he needs someone aside from me.
His co-workers and bosses treat him like shit. He busts his ass- and they see none of it. But they gave him money for school- so he is stuck there for 3 more years unless we want to pay it back. He doesn't get paid enough. Not even close. He is so smart, and works so hard. His customers ADORE him- but his bosses shit on him.
He is doing his masters. Something he always wanted to do, but didn't get to since we had Cookies. Now we worry that we will have paid tens of thousands of dollars for something that will never pay itself back. The school work takes him away from us 6 out of the 7 days of the week. Let me tell you how much I love that. Not only because he is my best friend, and I very much enjoy his company, but because I don't particularly enjoy being a single parent.
The guy is juggling working out (the only thing he has for himself), work, school, and a family. On top of that he is lonely. His family is all far away- and as much as they drive us crazy, I can't imagine having to live far away from my parents- it has to be hard on him. To have no friends and family gone, to have to juggle so much, by choice or not, takes a toll.
I am at loss. I wish I could hand deliver friends, that we could afford to visit his family more than once a year, and that he made what he deserves. God wants us here now- he made it plainly obvious by pigeon holing us in this house. I just don't know why he needs to have this season in his life. Is it a God thing? I wonder sometimes. The people in a small group we tried out dropped us like we were nothing, and really no one talks to us at church, despite our efforts. I don't think we smell funny... and we are nice people. If you are our friend, we take care of you. Bum is a good friend to the people that choose to be around him. He needs someone to be that back to him. I don't know what I can do to help. It hurts me to have him hurt- and even more to know there is NOTHING I can do about it. I guess all I can do is be here for him and ggive it up to God- but man is it hard sometimes.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Just a little something
To brighten up your day! I finally caught a few! Check out the chins for days.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Can you FEEL the love?
Cookies wasn't loving the camera- or holding her brother on Valentines day. Turkey.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
How time flies
Yesterday Bubbles turned 1 month. How had a month passed so quickly? We had no luck in finding a birthday hat yesterday, so today I try to hunt one down. Girl has inspired me to mark each month with a hat and a photo.
Looking back at the past month has gotten me thinking a lot about my first month with Cookies. I thought I would know everything about being a mom when I was pregnant with her. I was a full time nanny for years- how hard could it be right? Boy was I in for a reality check. While some things came naturally, others took a lot of practice.
I remember the first night home from the hospital with her. I hadn't slept in days- the beds at the hospital are so hard to sleep in- plus with the nurse checks and the visitors during the day I think I got 4 hours in 3 days. Then we came home. She was up all night because she was hungry. SHe wanted to suck on something, so instead of using a paci, I let her nurse. I sat in a chair and let her nurse all night long. At that point I started to lose it a bit. I hated Bum for sleeping. At one point during that long night, I remember him waking up and me telling him "I can't do this- I'm not meant to be a mom- can we take her back to the hospital?" he said "You;re already doing it", flopped back down and was snoring withing seconds. I thought right then and there that I would leave him. I cried to my mom the next day that I regretted having a baby. It makes me cry to read those words. I was REALLY out of my mind at that point. I loved her so much at that point already- but because I hadn't had a taste of sleep in any form, I thought that was how it was going to be every night. I had anxiety attacks before bed for the next several nights. I was scared to death that she would die if I fell asleep (another story for another post. My mom, thank God for her, came to stay with us the next few nights and forced me to get some sleep. Sleep really does make the difference between crazy and not. Amazing thing sleep. It allows us to be rational. Cookies wasn't a very good sleeper from the start- she had 1 hour nursing sessions several times a night- but as long as we got 4 hours and a nap I was good to go.
At 2 weeks old she started crying in the evening. Several hours would go by where she was inconsolable. She would just scream and flail her arms- pulling at her tiny tummy. For 9 weeks this continued every night. From 5-8:30, she would scream. I would hold her, rock her and kiss her. Most nights I would cry with her. There is no worse feeling in the world than to see your child in pain and know there is nothing you can do for it. Makes you feel unfit to be their mom. Bath time and a few minutes in the swing were our only breaks at night. I wish I had had my Moby then. I think it would have helped. Colic was hardest on Bum. For those weeks- he only saw her in tears. I think he thought that was how she always was, and it took a tole on him bonding with her. You'd never know it now though. She is truly his sunshine. We made it through the colic with her, and I assumed we would have to do it with all of our kiddos. Tough start-- but we got an AWESOME little girl out of it.
One of my biggest fears when Bubbles came was how Cookies would tolerate those weeks of tears. What if she hated him for it? But the crying never came. I feel blessed for that. This first month with him has been so different than the first month with her. I don't panic if we have a night up. He has only had a few of those though. He is a better sleeper for the most part. While very awake and alert, he is much more laid back. I have a feeling that a lot of that is that I am more laid back this time. I know what his cries mean, and therefore can cater to them faster. He likes to be held constantly- and for me- that is okay. The more snuggles the better. He loves his sister- and she loves him. In fact, as a marker of his first month, Cookies got a special gift- one that I will remember forever. She got Bubbles' first smile. She was a month old when I got hers. It is a very special way to sum up a very special month.
Looking back at the past month has gotten me thinking a lot about my first month with Cookies. I thought I would know everything about being a mom when I was pregnant with her. I was a full time nanny for years- how hard could it be right? Boy was I in for a reality check. While some things came naturally, others took a lot of practice.
I remember the first night home from the hospital with her. I hadn't slept in days- the beds at the hospital are so hard to sleep in- plus with the nurse checks and the visitors during the day I think I got 4 hours in 3 days. Then we came home. She was up all night because she was hungry. SHe wanted to suck on something, so instead of using a paci, I let her nurse. I sat in a chair and let her nurse all night long. At that point I started to lose it a bit. I hated Bum for sleeping. At one point during that long night, I remember him waking up and me telling him "I can't do this- I'm not meant to be a mom- can we take her back to the hospital?" he said "You;re already doing it", flopped back down and was snoring withing seconds. I thought right then and there that I would leave him. I cried to my mom the next day that I regretted having a baby. It makes me cry to read those words. I was REALLY out of my mind at that point. I loved her so much at that point already- but because I hadn't had a taste of sleep in any form, I thought that was how it was going to be every night. I had anxiety attacks before bed for the next several nights. I was scared to death that she would die if I fell asleep (another story for another post. My mom, thank God for her, came to stay with us the next few nights and forced me to get some sleep. Sleep really does make the difference between crazy and not. Amazing thing sleep. It allows us to be rational. Cookies wasn't a very good sleeper from the start- she had 1 hour nursing sessions several times a night- but as long as we got 4 hours and a nap I was good to go.
At 2 weeks old she started crying in the evening. Several hours would go by where she was inconsolable. She would just scream and flail her arms- pulling at her tiny tummy. For 9 weeks this continued every night. From 5-8:30, she would scream. I would hold her, rock her and kiss her. Most nights I would cry with her. There is no worse feeling in the world than to see your child in pain and know there is nothing you can do for it. Makes you feel unfit to be their mom. Bath time and a few minutes in the swing were our only breaks at night. I wish I had had my Moby then. I think it would have helped. Colic was hardest on Bum. For those weeks- he only saw her in tears. I think he thought that was how she always was, and it took a tole on him bonding with her. You'd never know it now though. She is truly his sunshine. We made it through the colic with her, and I assumed we would have to do it with all of our kiddos. Tough start-- but we got an AWESOME little girl out of it.
One of my biggest fears when Bubbles came was how Cookies would tolerate those weeks of tears. What if she hated him for it? But the crying never came. I feel blessed for that. This first month with him has been so different than the first month with her. I don't panic if we have a night up. He has only had a few of those though. He is a better sleeper for the most part. While very awake and alert, he is much more laid back. I have a feeling that a lot of that is that I am more laid back this time. I know what his cries mean, and therefore can cater to them faster. He likes to be held constantly- and for me- that is okay. The more snuggles the better. He loves his sister- and she loves him. In fact, as a marker of his first month, Cookies got a special gift- one that I will remember forever. She got Bubbles' first smile. She was a month old when I got hers. It is a very special way to sum up a very special month.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Thinking
I get so wrapped up in the negativity in my mind sometimes. I trash myself quite well- both in the way I look and the things I do. If I ever feel accomplished in anything I make sure to tear that good feeling down quickly. Not sure why I do it- maybe I am trying to stay humble, but I think that is the wrong way to do it.
So today I'm trying to figure out how to stay humble while building myself up at the same time. We are given gifts for a reason- to embrace them. I don't think we are glorifying the One who gave them to us by beating ourselves to death. I want it to be perfect ever time- but I'll never achieve perfect. It doesn't mean what I do do is crap- and that is hard for me to remember.
I am hopeful that when I can look in the mirror and find some affection for the person I see that some of my creativity will come back. I feel like it has been sucked out of me. I never used to have to look to others for ideas, it came from within. Now I feel like it is missing- and all I can do is stare at other's work with envy. Not the way things should work.
Maybe sleep will help- maybe spring. I just feel sapped- not really sad. I find so much inspiration in my kids, I just need it to be lit on fire again.
So today I'm trying to figure out how to stay humble while building myself up at the same time. We are given gifts for a reason- to embrace them. I don't think we are glorifying the One who gave them to us by beating ourselves to death. I want it to be perfect ever time- but I'll never achieve perfect. It doesn't mean what I do do is crap- and that is hard for me to remember.
I am hopeful that when I can look in the mirror and find some affection for the person I see that some of my creativity will come back. I feel like it has been sucked out of me. I never used to have to look to others for ideas, it came from within. Now I feel like it is missing- and all I can do is stare at other's work with envy. Not the way things should work.
Maybe sleep will help- maybe spring. I just feel sapped- not really sad. I find so much inspiration in my kids, I just need it to be lit on fire again.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Clueless Me
I finally pumped out a signature for the message boards I am on. It is super basic- but yay! I did something.
Bird is here! I am beside myself excited for Canape. I cried when I saw his picture yesterday. He is perfect and I can't wait to hear their story.
I am so happy for you friend. I wish there were less distance between us so I could love on him and give you a ginormous hug.
Bird is here! I am beside myself excited for Canape. I cried when I saw his picture yesterday. He is perfect and I can't wait to hear their story.
I am so happy for you friend. I wish there were less distance between us so I could love on him and give you a ginormous hug.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Drs and stuff
Cookies and Bubbles had their well babies yesterday. I was worried how miss Cookies would do- but she was a rockstar. She watched everything they did to Bubbles and wanted her turn for everything (cept the ouchies of course).
Both of them are growing great. Bubbles is already 7oz over his birth weight, and riding right in the 75th% for everything. They put silver nitrate on what was left of his cord, but the Dr accidentally touched some of his skin with it, so I am now dealing with a little section of cracked skin that bleeds if wiped too hard. Poor kiddo. The pricked his heel- he's a bleeder for sure, so that went fast, and they gave him his Hep B shot that I refused at the hospital so he could get a little older. Made for a long night last night. My babies don't do shots so well.
Cookies was on the charts for height for the first time in her life. Mind you, it was the 95th%, but it is the charts none the less (She has always been like 110th%). 60th% for weight- tall and skinny this one- but finally had gained some weight after almost a year of staying the same. She showed off her big muscles to the Dr (thank you Phatboy for teaching her how), sang him a song, and then wanted him to stay. He just adored her- little ham that she is. Since they don't do shots till Kindergarten, and we are delaying shots, he is going to call me next week so we can set up a schedule for both kiddos. We will do one at a time- at least a month apart- till they are caught up. I love that they support that.
Bum has food poisoning. I don't know what he ate- but he has been sick since the middle of the night. So baby who had a shot, + vomiting husband, + toddler nightmares = about 90 minutes of sleep for Mommy. Just as I got everyone settled to nap, and was hopping in the shower- since soap hasn't touched my hair in a week- grandma just walks into our room. I hear over the water the door open and her say "KIM" all too loud- then the baby shrieks- which wakes up the hubby, who runs into the bathroom to be sick again, Cookies hears the baby and Bum retching, so there goes her nap- I go get Bubbles (I'm dripping wet and still filthy mind you)- he decides he is hungry, so I nurse him, settle Bum back into bed, put a towel on my dirty hair, and bring my sweet babies out of the room so he can rest- all the while trying to think of a place to hide the body of the shower ruining baby waker. No shower for Mommy, no nap for Mommy. Not fair. Oh well- maybe later tonight- after they are all asleep. At least from getting it wet is doesn't LOOK as greasy.
Both of them are growing great. Bubbles is already 7oz over his birth weight, and riding right in the 75th% for everything. They put silver nitrate on what was left of his cord, but the Dr accidentally touched some of his skin with it, so I am now dealing with a little section of cracked skin that bleeds if wiped too hard. Poor kiddo. The pricked his heel- he's a bleeder for sure, so that went fast, and they gave him his Hep B shot that I refused at the hospital so he could get a little older. Made for a long night last night. My babies don't do shots so well.
Cookies was on the charts for height for the first time in her life. Mind you, it was the 95th%, but it is the charts none the less (She has always been like 110th%). 60th% for weight- tall and skinny this one- but finally had gained some weight after almost a year of staying the same. She showed off her big muscles to the Dr (thank you Phatboy for teaching her how), sang him a song, and then wanted him to stay. He just adored her- little ham that she is. Since they don't do shots till Kindergarten, and we are delaying shots, he is going to call me next week so we can set up a schedule for both kiddos. We will do one at a time- at least a month apart- till they are caught up. I love that they support that.
Bum has food poisoning. I don't know what he ate- but he has been sick since the middle of the night. So baby who had a shot, + vomiting husband, + toddler nightmares = about 90 minutes of sleep for Mommy. Just as I got everyone settled to nap, and was hopping in the shower- since soap hasn't touched my hair in a week- grandma just walks into our room. I hear over the water the door open and her say "KIM" all too loud- then the baby shrieks- which wakes up the hubby, who runs into the bathroom to be sick again, Cookies hears the baby and Bum retching, so there goes her nap- I go get Bubbles (I'm dripping wet and still filthy mind you)- he decides he is hungry, so I nurse him, settle Bum back into bed, put a towel on my dirty hair, and bring my sweet babies out of the room so he can rest- all the while trying to think of a place to hide the body of the shower ruining baby waker. No shower for Mommy, no nap for Mommy. Not fair. Oh well- maybe later tonight- after they are all asleep. At least from getting it wet is doesn't LOOK as greasy.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Okay, so it is late...
But Bubbles is here! He arrived January 6th at 6:49am. 9lbs 1oz, 21" and absolutely perfect.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Memememe
The lovely Miss Canape was wonderful enough to give me a little distraction as this little monkey continues to hold on for dear life- even after a serious membrane stripping and walk around the zoo (Which has left me with less contractions today than I have had in weeks)
So here it is, seven random things about me.
1. I can't just sit and watch anything. I have to be doing something with my hands. Even at the movie theater- I try to take something with me so I don't sit and fold paper over and over again.
2. I used to show dogs full time. I was on the road 6 months of the year. I loved it. Sometimes I miss it desperately- but I would never trade it for my family or the time I have with them.
3. I am insanely anal about my daughter's hair. If it is in pigtails, they have to be even- and her curls have to go in the same direction. She is cool enough to tolerate me doing this.
4. My closest girlfriend is more like a sister to me than anything else. And a wonderful aunt to my kiddo(s)... It is an amazing blessing.
5. I love sushi. I miss it SO much. I want it as my first post delivery meal.
6. When I wear shoes with laces, they have to be tied in the middle of the shoe- if the bow is lopsided I have to start over. Thus why I live in my crocs.
7. I can't fall asleep at night unless I rub my feet together. My dad is the same way...
Now as far as tagging anyone, I don't have a clue who to tag who reads this. I don't think Kris has been tagged- and random stuff is fun to read. And ummm....
Tara . That's all I have at the moment. Ladies, post 7 random things about yourself then tag 7 (Or who you can think of) to do it too.
So here it is, seven random things about me.
1. I can't just sit and watch anything. I have to be doing something with my hands. Even at the movie theater- I try to take something with me so I don't sit and fold paper over and over again.
2. I used to show dogs full time. I was on the road 6 months of the year. I loved it. Sometimes I miss it desperately- but I would never trade it for my family or the time I have with them.
3. I am insanely anal about my daughter's hair. If it is in pigtails, they have to be even- and her curls have to go in the same direction. She is cool enough to tolerate me doing this.
4. My closest girlfriend is more like a sister to me than anything else. And a wonderful aunt to my kiddo(s)... It is an amazing blessing.
5. I love sushi. I miss it SO much. I want it as my first post delivery meal.
6. When I wear shoes with laces, they have to be tied in the middle of the shoe- if the bow is lopsided I have to start over. Thus why I live in my crocs.
7. I can't fall asleep at night unless I rub my feet together. My dad is the same way...
Now as far as tagging anyone, I don't have a clue who to tag who reads this. I don't think Kris has been tagged- and random stuff is fun to read. And ummm....
Tara . That's all I have at the moment. Ladies, post 7 random things about yourself then tag 7 (Or who you can think of) to do it too.
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