No, I'm not talking my tush.
Bum is depressed. He feels like he has nothing here. He doesn't have friends- none. Seems like anyone he tries to befriend either thinks he is a nerd or they screw him over. More than people screw me over- it is bad. So he has me, Cookies, and Bubbles. While that is all well and good- he needs someone aside from me.
His co-workers and bosses treat him like shit. He busts his ass- and they see none of it. But they gave him money for school- so he is stuck there for 3 more years unless we want to pay it back. He doesn't get paid enough. Not even close. He is so smart, and works so hard. His customers ADORE him- but his bosses shit on him.
He is doing his masters. Something he always wanted to do, but didn't get to since we had Cookies. Now we worry that we will have paid tens of thousands of dollars for something that will never pay itself back. The school work takes him away from us 6 out of the 7 days of the week. Let me tell you how much I love that. Not only because he is my best friend, and I very much enjoy his company, but because I don't particularly enjoy being a single parent.
The guy is juggling working out (the only thing he has for himself), work, school, and a family. On top of that he is lonely. His family is all far away- and as much as they drive us crazy, I can't imagine having to live far away from my parents- it has to be hard on him. To have no friends and family gone, to have to juggle so much, by choice or not, takes a toll.
I am at loss. I wish I could hand deliver friends, that we could afford to visit his family more than once a year, and that he made what he deserves. God wants us here now- he made it plainly obvious by pigeon holing us in this house. I just don't know why he needs to have this season in his life. Is it a God thing? I wonder sometimes. The people in a small group we tried out dropped us like we were nothing, and really no one talks to us at church, despite our efforts. I don't think we smell funny... and we are nice people. If you are our friend, we take care of you. Bum is a good friend to the people that choose to be around him. He needs someone to be that back to him. I don't know what I can do to help. It hurts me to have him hurt- and even more to know there is NOTHING I can do about it. I guess all I can do is be here for him and ggive it up to God- but man is it hard sometimes.
4 comments:
((((((((((HUGS)))))))) I feel the same way for Jonathon sometimes :(
I may have selfish reasons-- but, I think he needs to come back to Austin. ;)
My husband is in a similar situation also. I can see that sometimes he'd just like to have one or two guy friends that he is close to. It's lonely for guys. I admire the way you're entrusting it to God.
Bummer :( Hope he can find some real friends there soon!
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