39 weeks today. I am curious to see how long he is going to hold out. I don't mean to whine so much- but it is pretty much the only thing on my mind right now.
It is so true that they come when they want to. We tried acupressure, walking, sex, massage, spicy food, epo, pretty much everything safe- my body doesn't so much as twitch for those things.
Probably no December baby, but we will have a baby eventually- just have to wait it out.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Progress
I am still contracting several times an hour. Went to the Dr today, and I am now 4 cm. Stubborn baby- he wants to hang curtains.
I got spoiled with Cookies. The Dr said I am having the first baby experience the second time. He is gonna be a turd.
He either needs to come NOW- or wait till Girl comes back from the mountains. Kim needs her friend there.
I got spoiled with Cookies. The Dr said I am having the first baby experience the second time. He is gonna be a turd.
He either needs to come NOW- or wait till Girl comes back from the mountains. Kim needs her friend there.
Monday, December 24, 2007
&*(^)*&^*^%@#*%
I am so frustrated I could spit. False fucking labor ALL night last night- all day yesterday. So even though I didn't feel like I was progressing- I went in for my slightly panicked husband. NOTHING. Contractions ALL day- the ones that hurt- and my fucking cervix didn't even move forward.
Son of a bitch.
I shouldn't whine cause I am not even to my due date- but I hurt, I'm tired and you know, they couldn't have made me feel more like an ass at the hospital. The stupid resident looked at me and said "Do you remember what it felt like with your daughter??? When you feel like that again, you should be ready to come back."
Well thanks asshole, yes I do remember. I remember not having a single painful contraction till the day she came. Then my water broke- and she was here later that day. I thought the second time was supposed to go faster. I am so frustrated right now...
They wouldn't even do an aggressive exam to get things rolling better. Look lady- you try being up for 3 days straight not because you are timing contractions, but because they hurt enough to wake you. Bastards.
I don't want to go back. I went in for my husband- and they talk to me like I am my 2 year old. Thanks assholes-- now I know why women have their babies on the toilet in their bathrooms.
I am so not going to be able to handle this going on for another week. I don't want hugs- I just want them to stop or for them to move forward. GAHHHHHHH.
Son of a bitch.
I shouldn't whine cause I am not even to my due date- but I hurt, I'm tired and you know, they couldn't have made me feel more like an ass at the hospital. The stupid resident looked at me and said "Do you remember what it felt like with your daughter??? When you feel like that again, you should be ready to come back."
Well thanks asshole, yes I do remember. I remember not having a single painful contraction till the day she came. Then my water broke- and she was here later that day. I thought the second time was supposed to go faster. I am so frustrated right now...
They wouldn't even do an aggressive exam to get things rolling better. Look lady- you try being up for 3 days straight not because you are timing contractions, but because they hurt enough to wake you. Bastards.
I don't want to go back. I went in for my husband- and they talk to me like I am my 2 year old. Thanks assholes-- now I know why women have their babies on the toilet in their bathrooms.
I am so not going to be able to handle this going on for another week. I don't want hugs- I just want them to stop or for them to move forward. GAHHHHHHH.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
I just realized
Tomorrow is probably Lil Miss' last day at my house. It makes my tummy flop to think that she probably won't be coming back again. See, she is going to be a big sister too- and as much as I want to be super mom, 2 toddlers and 2 infants, 1 which I would have to bottle feed, is probably too much for me to handle.
She came to me after being attacked by another kid at her old daycare. I will never forget the first day I met her. Her bitty face was all bruised from where the little boy had bitten her. She was tiny and shy, barely 2 years old. She sang me the alphabet and I fell for her. She has grow up so much since she first came to stay with me. She used to be a scared little girl- if I went to a room in the house that she wasn't familiar with, she would cry. It was almost impossible for her to interact with anyone she didn't know, and she would cry the first 5 minutes we were anywhere. That overly timid toddler has blossomed into a little girl. She now loves to go places and explore, and loves to talk to new people. I hope I had a little part in that.
She and Cookies are like sisters (they fight like sisters too)- and I only hope that my lil one's heart doesn't break when she realizes her playmate is being replaced by a little brother. Soon enough he will be old enough to play too, but it won't be the same.
So come on out Bubbles... My sister is coming into town and I want you to meet her before she leaves (I am SO scared you won't come out before she leaves). Otherwise you won't get to meet your dorky aunt #3 until you are 6 months old. She really is cool, and after tomorrow, you don't need to wait anymore. Daddy will be off work for a week, dorky aunt #3 will be here, we will have finished our week with Lil Miss, and you would be the best Christmas present that any of us could imagine. All of your Aunts, virtual or no want to meet you. I want to meet you. We all want to meet you. Finish cooking my love. Stop teasing mommy with all of these contractions.
She came to me after being attacked by another kid at her old daycare. I will never forget the first day I met her. Her bitty face was all bruised from where the little boy had bitten her. She was tiny and shy, barely 2 years old. She sang me the alphabet and I fell for her. She has grow up so much since she first came to stay with me. She used to be a scared little girl- if I went to a room in the house that she wasn't familiar with, she would cry. It was almost impossible for her to interact with anyone she didn't know, and she would cry the first 5 minutes we were anywhere. That overly timid toddler has blossomed into a little girl. She now loves to go places and explore, and loves to talk to new people. I hope I had a little part in that.
She and Cookies are like sisters (they fight like sisters too)- and I only hope that my lil one's heart doesn't break when she realizes her playmate is being replaced by a little brother. Soon enough he will be old enough to play too, but it won't be the same.
So come on out Bubbles... My sister is coming into town and I want you to meet her before she leaves (I am SO scared you won't come out before she leaves). Otherwise you won't get to meet your dorky aunt #3 until you are 6 months old. She really is cool, and after tomorrow, you don't need to wait anymore. Daddy will be off work for a week, dorky aunt #3 will be here, we will have finished our week with Lil Miss, and you would be the best Christmas present that any of us could imagine. All of your Aunts, virtual or no want to meet you. I want to meet you. We all want to meet you. Finish cooking my love. Stop teasing mommy with all of these contractions.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
All the things I keep putting off
We are taking the hospital tour tonight. More for Cookies than for us-- but still. Way to put it all off- eh?
I also haven't packed any bags. NONE. Not even an overnight bag for Cookies.
Pre-registered at the hospital? Nope. Not that either.
His clothes are clean, His blankets are made, but the car seat base still isn't installed.
The co-sleeper isn't set up, and there are no new sheets made for his Moses basket. Not that he will sleep in either anyways.
No nursing gear yet, but camies will do till I know the enormity of my chest after engorgement.
Birthplan is done, phone numbers are listed, I have a list of what should be packed- but none of it is done yet. I rule.
I also haven't packed any bags. NONE. Not even an overnight bag for Cookies.
Pre-registered at the hospital? Nope. Not that either.
His clothes are clean, His blankets are made, but the car seat base still isn't installed.
The co-sleeper isn't set up, and there are no new sheets made for his Moses basket. Not that he will sleep in either anyways.
No nursing gear yet, but camies will do till I know the enormity of my chest after engorgement.
Birthplan is done, phone numbers are listed, I have a list of what should be packed- but none of it is done yet. I rule.
Monday, December 17, 2007
37
Happy Term Day to me.
Bubbles is a tease. I woke up Saturday morning to although mild, very regular contractions- every 8 minutes on the dot. lasted for 3 hours, then stopped. Went most of the day without, then had the same thing happen in the evening. Same story Sunday.
Makes me appreciate the way Cookies chose to come into the world. She showed her personality even in the way she was born. "Hello, I want to come out, so I am doing it today- and there is nothing you can do to stop me!" I woke up the morning of her due date with regular contractions that kept getting stronger, showered, finished packing, started to watch a movie and my water broke. She announced that she was coming. She didn't ask. I love that about her. Driven already and she isn't even 2 yet. Makes my life a little harder now- but I think if I don't manage to screw her up too badly she will make a nice adult. Driven with a tender heart. She rocks.
Back to Bubbles... This teasing makes me wonder what he is going to be like. A little more timid perhaps? Even more of a clown that his sister? Will I ever sleep again? At least I have a great weight loss system-- they sleep in my room with me. Cookies RUNS- fast for even a toddler and has kept me on my toes since she started walking. In the past, I would march around with her, acting like we were in a parade, being different animals. Belly is too big to march now. Thank God for Girl-- she is an awesome parent- Cookies loves her and would follow her to the moon if it meant she could pretend to be a monkey a little longer. I wonder if Bubbles will run as fast as Hailey. Makes me wish I had arms that stretched like the mom in the Incredibles. That way, when they run in separate directions- I could just stretch out and grab them...
Bum told me not to go into labor till Friday. He begs me to go all weekend- then tells me last night not to go till at least Friday. Thanks Dude- I'll put in an order. Anyone else want me to go into labor when it is convenient for them? Post your availability now, I'll do my best to accommodate your needs. He just wants the rest of his days off to be for the week of Christmas. I understand that-- but don't make me feel like a freaking egg timer.
Ah the stupid crap that bugs me these days. I'll just keep putting off packing my hospital bag. Maybe that will keep him in a little longer.
Bubbles is a tease. I woke up Saturday morning to although mild, very regular contractions- every 8 minutes on the dot. lasted for 3 hours, then stopped. Went most of the day without, then had the same thing happen in the evening. Same story Sunday.
Makes me appreciate the way Cookies chose to come into the world. She showed her personality even in the way she was born. "Hello, I want to come out, so I am doing it today- and there is nothing you can do to stop me!" I woke up the morning of her due date with regular contractions that kept getting stronger, showered, finished packing, started to watch a movie and my water broke. She announced that she was coming. She didn't ask. I love that about her. Driven already and she isn't even 2 yet. Makes my life a little harder now- but I think if I don't manage to screw her up too badly she will make a nice adult. Driven with a tender heart. She rocks.
Back to Bubbles... This teasing makes me wonder what he is going to be like. A little more timid perhaps? Even more of a clown that his sister? Will I ever sleep again? At least I have a great weight loss system-- they sleep in my room with me. Cookies RUNS- fast for even a toddler and has kept me on my toes since she started walking. In the past, I would march around with her, acting like we were in a parade, being different animals. Belly is too big to march now. Thank God for Girl-- she is an awesome parent- Cookies loves her and would follow her to the moon if it meant she could pretend to be a monkey a little longer. I wonder if Bubbles will run as fast as Hailey. Makes me wish I had arms that stretched like the mom in the Incredibles. That way, when they run in separate directions- I could just stretch out and grab them...
Bum told me not to go into labor till Friday. He begs me to go all weekend- then tells me last night not to go till at least Friday. Thanks Dude- I'll put in an order. Anyone else want me to go into labor when it is convenient for them? Post your availability now, I'll do my best to accommodate your needs. He just wants the rest of his days off to be for the week of Christmas. I understand that-- but don't make me feel like a freaking egg timer.
Ah the stupid crap that bugs me these days. I'll just keep putting off packing my hospital bag. Maybe that will keep him in a little longer.
Friday, December 14, 2007
100
I'll have to do 100 things now.
Today is my attempt to walk Bubbles into 3cm. It is snowing and I am insane, but I have to go to Joann. I also want a yummy salad, so I am taking Cookies to Sweet Tomatoes.
Not too fun to go out alone-- but I don't want to drag anyone else out in this weather (it's snowing).
I am feeling a wee bit lonely today, not sure why, so I am going to try and get up and move around a bit.
Today is my attempt to walk Bubbles into 3cm. It is snowing and I am insane, but I have to go to Joann. I also want a yummy salad, so I am taking Cookies to Sweet Tomatoes.
Not too fun to go out alone-- but I don't want to drag anyone else out in this weather (it's snowing).
I am feeling a wee bit lonely today, not sure why, so I am going to try and get up and move around a bit.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
a
Another 2 am. She tries so hard to go to sleep. I hope she isn't sick.
I hate money. I hate taxes. I hate that school cost so much and knowing I will probably never get to go back because we will be paying forever. I hate knowing that I can do nothing about our finances. I hate this point in pregnancy where I worry about everything. I know deep down it will be okay.
Cook a little more Bubbles-- then you are getting an eviction notice.
I hate money. I hate taxes. I hate that school cost so much and knowing I will probably never get to go back because we will be paying forever. I hate knowing that I can do nothing about our finances. I hate this point in pregnancy where I worry about everything. I know deep down it will be okay.
Cook a little more Bubbles-- then you are getting an eviction notice.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
bleck
General feeling for the day. Cookies fell asleep at 8:15, Bum at 8:30- I was so excited to have a few minutes of ME time. I got a chance to talk to a friend- and while most of it was tear filled, it was nice to sit and talk to her without having to get up and tend to things other than my pea sized bladder.
Then 10 rolled around. I heard bitty footsteps above my head, then suddenly a set of hand pulling on my shirt. At least she knows where to find me if I am not in bed. So I said goodbye to my friend, and took her upstairs...
12am... she still can't fall back asleep. She was being wonderful and trying- but every time I would get up to go to bed, there she was on my heels. Hours of sitting on the hard floor is hard on a pregnant body. Finally at around 12:45 she fell asleep. I literally crawled to bed and couldn't sleep because my pelvis hurt so bad-- but I stayed up there in case she woke up. I gave up the fight at about 3:15 and grabbed a book. Poor Bum had a hard hard day at work and needed to sleep. Not that I don't- but he doesn't do so hot on no sleep. I just cry more than usual- he turns into a butthead. So I sat in the bathroom and read.
Then Cookies woke up at 7. I sure hope she naps well today. I won't get one cause Lil Miss doesn't nap anymore, but at least it would be nice to have one kiddo in a good mood.
Nice way to top off a rough evening.
Then 10 rolled around. I heard bitty footsteps above my head, then suddenly a set of hand pulling on my shirt. At least she knows where to find me if I am not in bed. So I said goodbye to my friend, and took her upstairs...
12am... she still can't fall back asleep. She was being wonderful and trying- but every time I would get up to go to bed, there she was on my heels. Hours of sitting on the hard floor is hard on a pregnant body. Finally at around 12:45 she fell asleep. I literally crawled to bed and couldn't sleep because my pelvis hurt so bad-- but I stayed up there in case she woke up. I gave up the fight at about 3:15 and grabbed a book. Poor Bum had a hard hard day at work and needed to sleep. Not that I don't- but he doesn't do so hot on no sleep. I just cry more than usual- he turns into a butthead. So I sat in the bathroom and read.
Then Cookies woke up at 7. I sure hope she naps well today. I won't get one cause Lil Miss doesn't nap anymore, but at least it would be nice to have one kiddo in a good mood.
Nice way to top off a rough evening.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Yet another plug for Girl
Cause she did my maternities... And she made me feel gorgeous. Not easy for a person who struggles with self image.
My Belly
We had an appointment yesterday. To this point I have gained a total of 28lbs. That is literally HALF of what I gained with Cookies. WOW. Hopefully all of it and more will come off this time.
I am 2cm dilated (Nice to know all these damn BH's are doing SOMETHING), soft and slightly effaced. Bet you wanted to know all the details of my inner workings- didn't you?
Cookies LOVED this Dr. We had never met her before, yet Cookies walked over, handed her a cookie and wanted to hold her hand the whole appointment. I can't help but hope she is the one to deliver Bubbles. She even asked if I wanted Cookies there-- and suggested that we should have her there as long as she didn't get scared. That rocked my world. How many Doctors invite an almost 2 year old to run around a room for hours??
-----------------
I have been having the kookiest dreams lately. Most involving my friend who is invited to the birth and how the Dr's thought I was just the surrogate mom- or how I couldn't hold Bubbles till she could get there- things like that, cause I am CRRRRAZY. Only a couple bad ones so far, and lots and lots of how how might look. More than finding out the sex, discovering what they look like is the best part for me. Whose nose, whose ears, how much hair, is it curly or straight?
Cookies had long dark brown curls when she was born. It took less than 24 hours to turn into chicken fuzz (love it) and for all the nurses to adopt her as their favorite toy doll for hair styles. With in a week it had a hint of red, then by 5 months it had mostly fallen out only to be replaced with gorgeous blonde curls. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Boy are we in trouble.
I can't wait to meet him. Will he be a spit fire like his sister? You know- she can scale the entertainment center that is 6' tall. She loves to see people happy- but she isn't afraid to pull out a can of whoop ass if she needs to. Will he be a good sleeper? Cookies sure isn't. Will he be a peanut or a moose? What color hair will he have?
I am so excited- but I am trying also to embrace these last days of just me and my girl. These last days that he is mine and mine alone. There are less of them than more. I am somewhere between terrified and excited.
My Belly
We had an appointment yesterday. To this point I have gained a total of 28lbs. That is literally HALF of what I gained with Cookies. WOW. Hopefully all of it and more will come off this time.
I am 2cm dilated (Nice to know all these damn BH's are doing SOMETHING), soft and slightly effaced. Bet you wanted to know all the details of my inner workings- didn't you?
Cookies LOVED this Dr. We had never met her before, yet Cookies walked over, handed her a cookie and wanted to hold her hand the whole appointment. I can't help but hope she is the one to deliver Bubbles. She even asked if I wanted Cookies there-- and suggested that we should have her there as long as she didn't get scared. That rocked my world. How many Doctors invite an almost 2 year old to run around a room for hours??
-----------------
I have been having the kookiest dreams lately. Most involving my friend who is invited to the birth and how the Dr's thought I was just the surrogate mom- or how I couldn't hold Bubbles till she could get there- things like that, cause I am CRRRRAZY. Only a couple bad ones so far, and lots and lots of how how might look. More than finding out the sex, discovering what they look like is the best part for me. Whose nose, whose ears, how much hair, is it curly or straight?
Cookies had long dark brown curls when she was born. It took less than 24 hours to turn into chicken fuzz (love it) and for all the nurses to adopt her as their favorite toy doll for hair styles. With in a week it had a hint of red, then by 5 months it had mostly fallen out only to be replaced with gorgeous blonde curls. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Boy are we in trouble.
I can't wait to meet him. Will he be a spit fire like his sister? You know- she can scale the entertainment center that is 6' tall. She loves to see people happy- but she isn't afraid to pull out a can of whoop ass if she needs to. Will he be a good sleeper? Cookies sure isn't. Will he be a peanut or a moose? What color hair will he have?
I am so excited- but I am trying also to embrace these last days of just me and my girl. These last days that he is mine and mine alone. There are less of them than more. I am somewhere between terrified and excited.
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