Learning to let go

This weekend marked a LOT of firsts for my kidlets.



Bubbles tasted some oh so sinful ice cream (More the residue of it than the ice cream itself), had his first hike, went to his first baseball game, his first amusement park and his first time meeting his uncle.



Cookies had several firsts too. Her first hot dog AT a baseball game (there is something special about that),went on her first REAL hike, went to her first amusement park... wore shorts for the first time that day (What can I say? The girl loves dresses. We had to have a LONG talk about how a dress wouldn't be safe), and for the first time in her life... She rode rides alone. She went with her bestest friends on the rides- but without Mommy. Talk about a lesson for me in letting go. None of them were over the top- in fact, even if she had wanted me to go, my hind end wouldn't have fit in them anyhow. Gotta love toddler rides. She grew up just a little bit more that day, which made it just a bit harder for me not to cry while we walked around the park with our wonderful friends.

I had a few firsts myself at that park. As I said above, I let Cookies play without me. I stood up to a punk kid who frankly scared the ever living crap out of me- but it was for a friend. If I weren't afraid of him killing me, I would have done more. Stupid little thief. I hope something of his gets stolen in front of his face.
But the biggest step for me? Saying something I really didn't want to say. You see, this dear friend of mine is getting ready to bravely move across the country to be closer to her family. I don't blame her- because I would do the same. I am blessed with a similar relationship to my mom as she has to hers- and I can't imagine living as far away from her as she does from her mom. It is a big and scary move. A move that at the moment, has a lot of blanks to be filled in. But I know she will do it- and like everything she does, she will do it well and with grace.
So when the tears started as we thought about not seeing each other's kiddos for a long time- all I wanted to say was "Please PLEASE don't go. You're my only friend here. You're the only one who I feel like I can be me with, that I trust with my kids- and love that they call you Auntie. I don't want you to go"... But those are selfish reasons. So instead, I told her the truth. If we are the only reason to stay, it isn't a good enough reason. Her mom and siblings are more important that we will ever be. Feeling loved, having help, a home, a church... Those things are more important than being at birthday parties. We will find ways to visit- even if it is only once a year- because to me, she's family. The sister from another mother. It was a lesson in letting go a bit for me that day. She needs to be where she will be happy.