Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
It shouldn't make me so sad
My BIL isn't talking to me. I didn't do anything... I don't think I did at least. I got a good chuckle the other day about something going on with him- but only because we have been in his shoes, and it was ironic that he was now in the same situation. He didn't even know about my chuckle.
I called him last night to ask him about his fiance- I would like to get her something for Christmas, but I don't know ANYTHING about her. We have never spoken, never met, anything like that. I don't even know if she likes to cook or not. He didn't answer, so I left a message. No call back. I texted him, nothing. He texted Bum instead.
It hurt my feelings. We used to be great friends. He lived with us for most of my first pregnancy- and although lazy- was a nice friend to have around. We used to talk on the phone, he would call me if he needed to talk, but slowly, he stopped calling. Now he doesn't talk to me? It is stupid- but it hurts.
I called him last night to ask him about his fiance- I would like to get her something for Christmas, but I don't know ANYTHING about her. We have never spoken, never met, anything like that. I don't even know if she likes to cook or not. He didn't answer, so I left a message. No call back. I texted him, nothing. He texted Bum instead.
It hurt my feelings. We used to be great friends. He lived with us for most of my first pregnancy- and although lazy- was a nice friend to have around. We used to talk on the phone, he would call me if he needed to talk, but slowly, he stopped calling. Now he doesn't talk to me? It is stupid- but it hurts.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
New Babies!
Baby Blake and Baby Carter are here! Congratulations Mommas! Your boys are perfect and beautiful!
By the way- did you realize they both weighed almost the exact same at birth? How cool is that?
By the way- did you realize they both weighed almost the exact same at birth? How cool is that?
Friday, November 2, 2007
Total WCP
I was inundated with "I think ________ is hot" this evening.
Girl... My mom thinks Buns is hot. "Not at all hard to look at" she says. My mom. I can't help but laugh- cause it is my mom. My response to her? Yep- there isn't a single member of that family who isn't easy on the eyes.
Kami... My husband thinks you are hot. I think the pirate costume (not to mention red wig) did it for him.
Andria... We are both thoroughly impressed with you overdue hotness. Seriously woman, you look fabulous.
My sister wants to sleep with Dane Cook.
My other sister thinks people who I have never heard of are hot.
I got probably 10 phone calls tonight. 7 of them involved some form of conversation about someone being hot. Reminds me of high school. LOL!
Girl... My mom thinks Buns is hot. "Not at all hard to look at" she says. My mom. I can't help but laugh- cause it is my mom. My response to her? Yep- there isn't a single member of that family who isn't easy on the eyes.
Kami... My husband thinks you are hot. I think the pirate costume (not to mention red wig) did it for him.
Andria... We are both thoroughly impressed with you overdue hotness. Seriously woman, you look fabulous.
My sister wants to sleep with Dane Cook.
My other sister thinks people who I have never heard of are hot.
I got probably 10 phone calls tonight. 7 of them involved some form of conversation about someone being hot. Reminds me of high school. LOL!
Yep- it is gone
Brain has been eaten. At least it is going to a good cause. Bubbles needs it more than I do.
It is obvious to me that it is gone- because, well, things that don't normally bother me are. My conscious is guiltier than usual, I have this driving need to have my friends be "okay" with me- and even if they are, it feels like they aren't. I am having full on melt downs about things that really aren't even issues. Money is at the forefront- we are okay. We aren't starving (I am, but I blame the bottomless pit--lol), we pay all of our bills and even have a little extra left over- but we are paupers in a million dollar neighborhood, and it is easy for Bum and myself to get caught up in not being "equal" with our neighbors.
Funk or no funk- we are extremely blessed, and I am doing my best to remember that. I am blessed to have the support of not only my husband, but friends as well. I am blessed to be able to create things for my daughter. I am blessed to be pregnant- the list goes on- and I try to remind myself of that every day.
While I haven't done anything remarkably stupid yet (i.e. leaving the the stove on or running the faucet all day), DAMN I feel stupid. Good thing Cookies likes me no matter what I say, at least for the next few months.
It is obvious to me that it is gone- because, well, things that don't normally bother me are. My conscious is guiltier than usual, I have this driving need to have my friends be "okay" with me- and even if they are, it feels like they aren't. I am having full on melt downs about things that really aren't even issues. Money is at the forefront- we are okay. We aren't starving (I am, but I blame the bottomless pit--lol), we pay all of our bills and even have a little extra left over- but we are paupers in a million dollar neighborhood, and it is easy for Bum and myself to get caught up in not being "equal" with our neighbors.
Funk or no funk- we are extremely blessed, and I am doing my best to remember that. I am blessed to have the support of not only my husband, but friends as well. I am blessed to be able to create things for my daughter. I am blessed to be pregnant- the list goes on- and I try to remind myself of that every day.
While I haven't done anything remarkably stupid yet (i.e. leaving the the stove on or running the faucet all day), DAMN I feel stupid. Good thing Cookies likes me no matter what I say, at least for the next few months.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Meet Dorothy
Cookies on her first Halloween outing. Last year she was only 10 months old and it was snowing. Mommy and Daddy didn't want candy THAT bad.
I had FOUR people ask if she was little red riding hood. The cape is BLUE people- wtf? Oh, not to mention the ruby slippers. People are blind sometimes to the obvious.
This year, she was spent after about 10 houses. Kinda bums me out because I was looking forward to the loot- but it is better for my waistline anyhow.
I am no longer sleeping at night. As soon as I get up to pee- that is the end of sleep for me. My daughter is restless, and my husband grinds his teeth like he is munching on carrots. As a result- I say even stupider things than usual, am emotionally shredded, and physically exhausted. Coffee doesn't even help anymore. So while I feel good- I don't. Not necessarily in a sad kind of way- but like I can NEVER feel rest. You are supposed to be able to come home and have a peace there that you cannot find elsewhere-- I don't have that. I feel worse here that I do other places. How saddening. Makes me want to rent a hotel room just so I can get a friggin break. Whine, whine whine whine.
I am sorry ahead of time if I offend anyone or say something idiotic over the next several weeks. My brain has been eaten- and I am more or less a zombie. Time to just stay out of people's hair.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
She's growing up.
Cookies amazes me. She has a better grasp on things than I am willing to admit, and I knew that for sure when she grabbed one of Bubbles' ultrasound pictures- and announce that that was her baby brother. We had never told her that before.
She is desperately trying to figure out this whole potty thing- and wants to know everything about everything.
She watches Finding Nemo like it is her first time seeing it every time she watches- even though it is on at least once a day. I wish I had the sense of wonder and enthusiasm she has.
Look at how much she has grown
2 Months
22 Months
She is desperately trying to figure out this whole potty thing- and wants to know everything about everything.
She watches Finding Nemo like it is her first time seeing it every time she watches- even though it is on at least once a day. I wish I had the sense of wonder and enthusiasm she has.
Look at how much she has grown
2 Months
22 Months
Friday, October 19, 2007
1 year ago
Today, a year ago, I went to lunch with my friends, then to the dollar store, then to the hospital.
One year ago today, I lost our lil peanut. And while it is a day of remembrance- I am not overly sad. I am blessed to have Bubbles now.
God knew what he was doing. There was something about Peanut that couldn't have made it to the outside world. The experience was traumatic, painful, and scary. I felt like I had done something wrong. I felt... insufficient. Other people blamed the fact I was still breastfeeding my daughter. It was a hard few weeks for me, and probably just as hard a few weeks for a friend who found out she was pregnant just as I found out I wasn't.
I can't believe a year has gone so fast. It feels like moments ago. The time between Peanut and Bubbles felt like an eternity at the time- yet here I am- looking back, and realizing it was just a blink.
What an amazing year it has been. Now I wait for my son to be born- and that is coming FAST. I am so thankful for him. I am so thankful for Cookies. I am so thankful for Peanut. Peanut allowed me to understand something I couldn't have understood without going through it.
One year ago today, I lost our lil peanut. And while it is a day of remembrance- I am not overly sad. I am blessed to have Bubbles now.
God knew what he was doing. There was something about Peanut that couldn't have made it to the outside world. The experience was traumatic, painful, and scary. I felt like I had done something wrong. I felt... insufficient. Other people blamed the fact I was still breastfeeding my daughter. It was a hard few weeks for me, and probably just as hard a few weeks for a friend who found out she was pregnant just as I found out I wasn't.
I can't believe a year has gone so fast. It feels like moments ago. The time between Peanut and Bubbles felt like an eternity at the time- yet here I am- looking back, and realizing it was just a blink.
What an amazing year it has been. Now I wait for my son to be born- and that is coming FAST. I am so thankful for him. I am so thankful for Cookies. I am so thankful for Peanut. Peanut allowed me to understand something I couldn't have understood without going through it.
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