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Happy Term Day to me.

Bubbles is a tease. I woke up Saturday morning to although mild, very regular contractions- every 8 minutes on the dot. lasted for 3 hours, then stopped. Went most of the day without, then had the same thing happen in the evening. Same story Sunday.

Makes me appreciate the way Cookies chose to come into the world. She showed her personality even in the way she was born. "Hello, I want to come out, so I am doing it today- and there is nothing you can do to stop me!" I woke up the morning of her due date with regular contractions that kept getting stronger, showered, finished packing, started to watch a movie and my water broke. She announced that she was coming. She didn't ask. I love that about her. Driven already and she isn't even 2 yet. Makes my life a little harder now- but I think if I don't manage to screw her up too badly she will make a nice adult. Driven with a tender heart. She rocks.

Back to Bubbles... This teasing makes me wonder what he is going to be like. A little more timid perhaps? Even more of a clown that his sister? Will I ever sleep again? At least I have a great weight loss system-- they sleep in my room with me. Cookies RUNS- fast for even a toddler and has kept me on my toes since she started walking. In the past, I would march around with her, acting like we were in a parade, being different animals. Belly is too big to march now. Thank God for Girl-- she is an awesome parent- Cookies loves her and would follow her to the moon if it meant she could pretend to be a monkey a little longer. I wonder if Bubbles will run as fast as Hailey. Makes me wish I had arms that stretched like the mom in the Incredibles. That way, when they run in separate directions- I could just stretch out and grab them...

Bum told me not to go into labor till Friday. He begs me to go all weekend- then tells me last night not to go till at least Friday. Thanks Dude- I'll put in an order. Anyone else want me to go into labor when it is convenient for them? Post your availability now, I'll do my best to accommodate your needs. He just wants the rest of his days off to be for the week of Christmas. I understand that-- but don't make me feel like a freaking egg timer.

Ah the stupid crap that bugs me these days. I'll just keep putting off packing my hospital bag. Maybe that will keep him in a little longer.

100

I'll have to do 100 things now.

Today is my attempt to walk Bubbles into 3cm. It is snowing and I am insane, but I have to go to Joann. I also want a yummy salad, so I am taking Cookies to Sweet Tomatoes.

Not too fun to go out alone-- but I don't want to drag anyone else out in this weather (it's snowing).

I am feeling a wee bit lonely today, not sure why, so I am going to try and get up and move around a bit.

a

Another 2 am. She tries so hard to go to sleep. I hope she isn't sick.

I hate money. I hate taxes. I hate that school cost so much and knowing I will probably never get to go back because we will be paying forever. I hate knowing that I can do nothing about our finances. I hate this point in pregnancy where I worry about everything. I know deep down it will be okay.

Cook a little more Bubbles-- then you are getting an eviction notice.

bleck

General feeling for the day. Cookies fell asleep at 8:15, Bum at 8:30- I was so excited to have a few minutes of ME time. I got a chance to talk to a friend- and while most of it was tear filled, it was nice to sit and talk to her without having to get up and tend to things other than my pea sized bladder.

Then 10 rolled around. I heard bitty footsteps above my head, then suddenly a set of hand pulling on my shirt. At least she knows where to find me if I am not in bed. So I said goodbye to my friend, and took her upstairs...

12am... she still can't fall back asleep. She was being wonderful and trying- but every time I would get up to go to bed, there she was on my heels. Hours of sitting on the hard floor is hard on a pregnant body. Finally at around 12:45 she fell asleep. I literally crawled to bed and couldn't sleep because my pelvis hurt so bad-- but I stayed up there in case she woke up. I gave up the fight at about 3:15 and grabbed a book. Poor Bum had a hard hard day at work and needed to sleep. Not that I don't- but he doesn't do so hot on no sleep. I just cry more than usual- he turns into a butthead. So I sat in the bathroom and read.

Then Cookies woke up at 7. I sure hope she naps well today. I won't get one cause Lil Miss doesn't nap anymore, but at least it would be nice to have one kiddo in a good mood.

Nice way to top off a rough evening.

Yet another plug for Girl

Cause she did my maternities... And she made me feel gorgeous. Not easy for a person who struggles with self image.

My Belly

We had an appointment yesterday. To this point I have gained a total of 28lbs. That is literally HALF of what I gained with Cookies. WOW. Hopefully all of it and more will come off this time.

I am 2cm dilated (Nice to know all these damn BH's are doing SOMETHING), soft and slightly effaced. Bet you wanted to know all the details of my inner workings- didn't you?

Cookies LOVED this Dr. We had never met her before, yet Cookies walked over, handed her a cookie and wanted to hold her hand the whole appointment. I can't help but hope she is the one to deliver Bubbles. She even asked if I wanted Cookies there-- and suggested that we should have her there as long as she didn't get scared. That rocked my world. How many Doctors invite an almost 2 year old to run around a room for hours??

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I have been having the kookiest dreams lately. Most involving my friend who is invited to the birth and how the Dr's thought I was just the surrogate mom- or how I couldn't hold Bubbles till she could get there- things like that, cause I am CRRRRAZY. Only a couple bad ones so far, and lots and lots of how how might look. More than finding out the sex, discovering what they look like is the best part for me. Whose nose, whose ears, how much hair, is it curly or straight?

Cookies had long dark brown curls when she was born. It took less than 24 hours to turn into chicken fuzz (love it) and for all the nurses to adopt her as their favorite toy doll for hair styles. With in a week it had a hint of red, then by 5 months it had mostly fallen out only to be replaced with gorgeous blonde curls. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Boy are we in trouble.

I can't wait to meet him. Will he be a spit fire like his sister? You know- she can scale the entertainment center that is 6' tall. She loves to see people happy- but she isn't afraid to pull out a can of whoop ass if she needs to. Will he be a good sleeper? Cookies sure isn't. Will he be a peanut or a moose? What color hair will he have?

I am so excited- but I am trying also to embrace these last days of just me and my girl. These last days that he is mine and mine alone. There are less of them than more. I am somewhere between terrified and excited.

Shameless Plug

Girl's Cards are the best. Check them out. Just doooo it. ;)

It shouldn't make me so sad

My BIL isn't talking to me. I didn't do anything... I don't think I did at least. I got a good chuckle the other day about something going on with him- but only because we have been in his shoes, and it was ironic that he was now in the same situation. He didn't even know about my chuckle.

I called him last night to ask him about his fiance- I would like to get her something for Christmas, but I don't know ANYTHING about her. We have never spoken, never met, anything like that. I don't even know if she likes to cook or not. He didn't answer, so I left a message. No call back. I texted him, nothing. He texted Bum instead.

It hurt my feelings. We used to be great friends. He lived with us for most of my first pregnancy- and although lazy- was a nice friend to have around. We used to talk on the phone, he would call me if he needed to talk, but slowly, he stopped calling. Now he doesn't talk to me? It is stupid- but it hurts.

New Babies!

Baby Blake and Baby Carter are here! Congratulations Mommas! Your boys are perfect and beautiful!


By the way- did you realize they both weighed almost the exact same at birth? How cool is that?

Total WCP

I was inundated with "I think ________ is hot" this evening.

Girl... My mom thinks Buns is hot. "Not at all hard to look at" she says. My mom. I can't help but laugh- cause it is my mom. My response to her? Yep- there isn't a single member of that family who isn't easy on the eyes.

Kami... My husband thinks you are hot. I think the pirate costume (not to mention red wig) did it for him.

Andria... We are both thoroughly impressed with you overdue hotness. Seriously woman, you look fabulous.

My sister wants to sleep with Dane Cook.

My other sister thinks people who I have never heard of are hot.

I got probably 10 phone calls tonight. 7 of them involved some form of conversation about someone being hot. Reminds me of high school. LOL!

Yep- it is gone

Brain has been eaten. At least it is going to a good cause. Bubbles needs it more than I do.

It is obvious to me that it is gone- because, well, things that don't normally bother me are. My conscious is guiltier than usual, I have this driving need to have my friends be "okay" with me- and even if they are, it feels like they aren't. I am having full on melt downs about things that really aren't even issues. Money is at the forefront- we are okay. We aren't starving (I am, but I blame the bottomless pit--lol), we pay all of our bills and even have a little extra left over- but we are paupers in a million dollar neighborhood, and it is easy for Bum and myself to get caught up in not being "equal" with our neighbors.

Funk or no funk- we are extremely blessed, and I am doing my best to remember that. I am blessed to have the support of not only my husband, but friends as well. I am blessed to be able to create things for my daughter. I am blessed to be pregnant- the list goes on- and I try to remind myself of that every day.

While I haven't done anything remarkably stupid yet (i.e. leaving the the stove on or running the faucet all day), DAMN I feel stupid. Good thing Cookies likes me no matter what I say, at least for the next few months.